2 Years . . .

afterfocus_1355017550732Two years ago today I received the phone call that I lost you but I gained yet another guardian angel. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, they say within time the pain heals but my wound is still fresh. I still get choked up, I still long for your voice, still long for that Sunday phone call. Trying to stay strong for you is a hard job within itself, I try not to talk about you because it’s still hurts so much. God blessed me with 2 of the worlds greatest parents but took one from me too soon. Your advice was straight forward but gentle, your jokes were hilarious, your stories were joyous, your laugh was contagious, your words were kind. My writing is all over the place because that’s how my mind is every 10th, 18th, and 25th of December. The 10th you left this earth and became a guardian angel, the 18th we said our hard goodbye and the 25th marks your birthday.

Not many people will ever come close to understanding the father-daughter relationship we had. Everyone who knows me, knows that it is in fact the small things that matter to me. I am so glad beyond words that I found you. That father-daughter dance meant the world to me so much more than anyone can ever even begin to imagine especially when you sang that song as we danced . You made my Quinceañera that much better. I look past all the stuff that had happened in the past because I wanted that father daughter bond, not many people can do that & I’m so glad I did. I have the 2 best guy friends that took me to go see you at the hospital up north in August 2010 little did I know that I would be losing you that December. I learned that everything happens for a reason, we sometimes not ever know why exactly but there is a reason behind every action.  Not many people believe in the spiritual side.

I truly do believe that it is because of you dad that I have had the best birthdays, it sounds weird but it’s what I believe. When I think of that it warms my heart so much, I do wish Heaven had a phone line so I could continue to talk to you every Sunday, I do wish you weren’t taken from me so early,  do wish some sibling relationships were different. I do wish that I could call you and tell you what’s going on in my life and you somehow teach me something different every time. I do wish a lot of things but you can’t have it all and I know that. I do wish that people would learn to appreciate the people that they have around them and treat them differently. I highly appreciate all of my friends that I have, you can’t find others like them. I’m so glad I met them and wish to have many more glorious years of friendship with them all. (That would be the best gift ever)

I miss you more as each day passes but I smile because I know your watching over us. I’m doing my best every day to keep my promise that I made you, every day is a struggle but I will soon overcome it all. I know it because I am your tough princess. With every phone call he would always say goodbye saying in Spanish, Always, always, always behave yourself – and if you misbehave be sure to invite me. Don’t worry dad, I will always behave myself and if I misbehave I’ll make sure to invite you, because I know you got your little girls back. As I began to write this I teared but as I finish I am smiling. Until next time xoxo – Britzy

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~ by adlezirb on December 10, 2012.

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