Loving Yourself

“I have all the love in the world to give but no one to give it to…”

I see a friend of mine posting things like this most of the time & i just want to sit her down & give her a good talking to. I use to post things like this so I know how she’s feeling; she feels lonely & wants to be loved. From my experience you cannot feel lonely & be wanting a relationship at the same time.  It’s just a recipe for disaster all in one. For example, say you do get a boyfriend & your feeling that way – your relationship will end because you’ll appear clingy. I have yet to meet a person who likes people who are clingy. Clingy people in a relationship do not work.

Before you get into a relationship you have to love yourself. How do you expect someone to love you if YOU can’t love yourself? You have to love all of you from your imperfections head to toe to your best feature. Confidence is key, be confident in yourself. Any person usually loves someone who loves themselves and is confident. I cannot emphasize that enough. I’m not perfect I don’t look like those females on the magazines and I love that about myself.

There are girls in high school thinking it’s the end of the world when they breakup with a boyfriend they’ve been with for less than 3 months. Um, no sweetheart your life isn’t over, your young and there are many more fish out in the sea. Yes, I know it’s a high school thing to be dramatic to some girls but get yourself a reality check. It’s part of the circle of life, it makes the world go round. Breakups make you a better & stronger person unless you have low self-esteem, then you bring out; the ice cream, the chocolates, the sad songs, the chick flicks. Every relationship in your life you need to treat like an obstacle and see the breakup from both sides. It makes such a difference to do so.

Love yourself! Change up your hair, do something you want, do a mini spa day at home or at the salon. If you look good then you will feel good about yourself hence then bringing up your self-esteem. Do something positive that puts a smile on yourself. Don’t gossip or put someone down to bring yourself up to me that’s idiotic,  foolish & moronic.  Do what I do, I love making people’s day by doing the simple thing. The night before I write a good morning message wishing them to have a good day, sometimes with a picture. I do this the night before I have my alarm set for 7am. When my alarm goes off I wake up send all those group messages and go back to bed for another hour lol. It makes my day when I make someones day.

I can sit here & type for hours about this topic but I think I’ll just leave it as that. Thank you all for the positive feedback I truly appreciate it. To all have a safe, blessed & fun weekend. xoxo – britzy

Finally Standing Up . . .

I’m sitting at a table across from my 30 year old sister and all of a sudden I start going off on her. Telling her she was never a sister let alone a good one at that. The title meant nothing if you don’t have the actions to back it up. Giving her all that I’ve had bottled up for years. I remember seeing the look on her face like she was hurt by what I said and was about to be in tears. I yelled at her saying, she’s never had a heart like that unless it’s convenient for her. It felt amazing to get it all of my chest and feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. At the same time I felt guilty for making her feel bad but at least she now knows what I’ve been thinking. Only to realize it was a dream all along. 

In reality I don’t think I can do that only because knowing her fists will be thrown and I won’t back down. It breaks my heart to know that our relationship has been damaged for her misunderstanding and selfish ways. I have some blame in this as well for not putting my foot down and allowing her to continue on this cycle of abuse but she is my sister. I’d do anything to help anyone in anyway that I can. I may end up hurt but as long as I helped, I walk with my head higher. 

As much as I voice my opinion I can’t do that to my sister only because it will cause more problems so I know when to voice my opinion and when to shut my trap as difficult as it may seem to the people that I know. If anything I can thank my sister for being the way she was with me. Although she caused me pain as I was growing up, she is the reason I don’t take anything from anyone. So if I ever get the chance, I won’t tell her off like I did in my dream, (as good as it felt) I will just tell her thank you because you have a part in who I’ve become today. Until next time people xoxo – britzy 

REVIEW: Influenster Sweetheart VoxBox

 I have received yet another voxbox & I must say this is the best one yet! It’s been a little over a week since I’ve received it so I’ve had time to play around with the goodies and form my own opinion on each. Before I start reviewing the items, if you aren’t aware of what am Influenster VoxBox is let me fill you in.  Influenster is a FREE program where you take tiny surveys and obtain badges on their website in order to qualify to receive a FREE box (VoxBox) of Products (Full size or Samples) to try out, review on Influenster.com, share with your friends or subscribers and you can also qualify for even more FREEBIES and special deals from the brands that work with Influenster. It is Completely Free! They just want you to review everything! You used to be able to sign up but now it’s invite only. If you want an invite please let me know & I’ll gladly do it. This is my 5th Influenster VoxBox, I love getting these.

NOTE: I will only send you the invite if you will follow-up with the website and challenges.

First goodie on the list is the Olay Fresh Effects {Va-Va-Vivid} Powered Contour Cleaning System retailing for $12.99. The sample size cleanser that it comes with is called Olay Fresh Effects {Shine, Shine Go Away!} Shine Minimizing Cleanser, the full size retails for about $6.99. This device gets into your skin and really cleans deep as it claims. I love it and it came at the perfect time since I recently found an interest for skin care. I was thinking of getting the Clarisonic Mia2 but I’d opt for this any day. I love that it comes in a triangle shape so you can get all over the face and get a deep clean. I instantly noticed a difference in my (combination) skin it was less oily and cleaner. There are two cleansers so get the one that works for you. Since it deep cleans you have to be careful because with how well it deep cleans and the power of the scrubber there is a possibly you might break out (you have been warned).

The 2nd goodie is the Secret Clinical Strength Response retailing for $7.99-$9.99. I had mixed feeling about it since it’s another deodorant but I was curious to see if it would really work or not. I had always wanted to try it but didn’t because it was pricey. I sweat as any other human does and when your stressed you sweat a bit more. It kept me fresh and dry all day I was impressed with this and glad I got it. Now I will want to spend the extra money on this product but I think it’ll be perfect for a night out or summer since it’s right around the corner.

The 3rd goodie is actually an edible one, Skinnygirl Daily On-The-Go Bars retailing for $9.99 per box which contains a total of 5 bars. The flavor I was given was Banana Oatmeal Dark Chocolate.  I’ve known Skinnygirl to be known for their line of wines, vodka with natural flavors and their ready to serve cocktails, so of course I was amazed that they had come out with an edible product. This was yummy although it did have an overpowering taste of banana it was good, you could taste the dark chocolate after a few seconds. I had this as a snack and it held up pretty well until it was time to eat. Most definitely going to be on the look out for the other flavors next time I go grocery shopping.

Last but not least we have the Not Your Mother’s She’s A Tease Volumizing Hairspray retailing for $6.00 for the full size. It’s to help with the teasing and infused with natural apple blossom and bamboo. I try not to put products in my hair as much only when it’s necessary. I tried it the other day when I decided that my hair needed a little bit of volume. It held up great, it has a weird smell to it or it could have been the fact that I had gone out drinking the night before lol. My hair had volume for most of the day. I will most likely look more into this brand to see the other products that they have to offer.

Thank you Influenster for sending me yet another VoxBox and I hope this isn’t the last. I hope you all had a great weekend and look forward to having a great week as well. Until next time xoxo – Britzy

DISCLAIMER: I received each product complimentary for testing purposes from Influenster. This is my own opinion on the products.

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Karma . . .

Definition of karma – (noun \ˈkär-mə also ˈkər-\) the force generated by a person’s actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person’s next existence.

Some people call karma a bitch or a best friend, I’d like to think of it more along the lines of an action. Karma does happen. Some people may see it while others may not and there is a reason for it. I truly believe that it does happen and depending on your actions to what has happened to you, that Karma itself will let you see her in action and give you the honor of the front row seat. I have had the privilege of seeing her in action a few times and I know it’s bad to say it’s a wonderful sight. I’m the kind of person that no matter how much you hurt me I will not wish the same pain that you have caused me. Although that’s just me everyone is different.

The reason I decided to write about this particular topic is because my best friend (mom) and I have been having the front row seat of Karma in action. I will say that there is a good side and a bad side to this. The good side is that this person is now feeling the pain that he caused my mother for years. The bad thing is that this person is taking out their anger on my kids (sisters). I understand that he is hurting because he’s been hurt 10x more than when he hurt and left my mom.

Sometimes karma can be a good thing and sometimes she really can truly be a bitch. In this case she’s on the fence and I agree. I don’t see why people wish bad karma just because they’ve been hurt it makes no sense to me. You are holding these angered thoughts wishing pain on someone while this person is out living their life. You can’t be holding grudges because it’s not healthy. Just to be clear my mom and I are the same person we don’t wish harm upon anyone nor do we wait to be seated to watch karma happen.

We heard of karma taking place and we thought to ourselves that he has gotten a little taste of the pain he cause my mother and sisters when he left us. We also felt bad for him because he is going through such a tough time and my sisters are getting his wrath. This is more of a rant post and who knew that all it would take was a little liquid courage. I think it’s better for me to rant on here that to bother a friend or hurt someones feelings. Until next time people xoxo – britzy

REVIEW: Influenster Cosmo VoxBox

It’s been a little over a week since I have received my Influenster Cosmo VoxBox. If you are not familiar with this program let me fill you in. Influenster is a FREE program where you take tiny surveys and obtain badges on their website in order to qualify to receive a FREE box (VoxBox) of Products (Full size or Samples) to try out, review on Influenster.com, share with your friends or subscribers and you can also qualify for even more FREEBIES and special deals from the brands that work with Influenster. It is Completely Free! They just want you to review everything! You used to be able to sign up but now it’s invite only. If you want an invite please let me know & I’ll gladly do it. This is my 3rd Influenster VoxBox, I love getting these. I read the email the day when you qualify so I barely made it. The products in this Influenster VoxBox are perfect for any female. My camera has been having trouble with focusing so please excuse that.

- First on the list is FriXion pen from Pilot Pen. They go for $4.50 for a 3 pack & $11 for an 8 pack. I normally don’t go with gel pens since they usually always suck. Although, these work swell it writes so smooth & you can erase everything just from the rubber tip. I didn’t believe it until I saw it for myself. So I now carry these with me in my bag

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- Second is the Forever Red Eau de Parfume which is sold exclusively at Bath & Body Works. $10 for a .25 fl oz & $44.50 for a full size. I absolutely positively love this luxurious perfume! It contains a blend of pomegranate. red osmanthus (not sure what that is), & vanilla rum.  To me it is the perfect scent for the holidays, I can’t describe it but it just is.

 

 

 

 

 

-Third is this chocolate from Ghirardelli Gourmet called Milk Sea Salt Escape which retails for $2.79. I love chocolate every now and then so when I saw this I was excited but frowned a little because I’m not a fan of salt on my candy. I was so wrong about this one the milk chocolate combined with the sea salt and roasted almonds make one fantastic combination. Just thinking about it now make my mouth water.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Last but not least is from a 2 in 1 goodie, Gillette Venus Embrace and Venus & Olay Razor refill. You can now mix and match and Venus razor and Venus blade refill which makes me super happy. I love Venus refills but my favorite has to be the Venus & Olay one. It leaves my legs so smooth that whenever I shave I can’t stop touching my legs, yes that smooth.

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you Influenster for sending me yet another VoxBox and I hope this isn’t the last. I hope you all had a great weekend and look forward to having a great week as well. Until next time xoxo – Britzy
DISCLAIMER: I received each product complimentary for testing purposes from Influenster. This is my own opinion on the products.

 

2 Years . . .

Two years ago today I received the phone call that I lost you but I gained yet another guardian angel. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, they say within time the pain heals but my wound is still fresh. I still get choked up, I still long for your voice, still long for that Sunday phone call. Trying to stay strong for you is a hard job within itself, I try not to talk about you because it’s still hurts so much. God blessed me with 2 of the worlds greatest parents but took one from me too soon. Your advice was straight forward but gentle, your jokes were hilarious, your stories were joyous, your laugh was contagious, your words were kind. My writing is all over the place because that’s how my mind is every 10th, 18th, and 25th of December. The 10th you left this earth and became a guardian angel, the 18th we said our hard goodbye and the 25th marks your birthday.

Not many people will ever come close to understanding the father-daughter relationship we had. Everyone who knows me, knows that it is in fact the small things that matter to me. I am so glad beyond words that I found you. That father-daughter dance meant the world to me so much more than anyone can ever even begin to imagine especially when you sang that song as we danced . You made my Quinceañera that much better. I look past all the stuff that had happened in the past because I wanted that father daughter bond, not many people can do that & I’m so glad I did. I have the 2 best guy friends that took me to go see you at the hospital up north in August 2010 little did I know that I would be losing you that December. I learned that everything happens for a reason, we sometimes not ever know why exactly but there is a reason behind every action.  Not many people believe in the spiritual side.

I truly do believe that it is because of you dad that I have had the best birthdays, it sounds weird but it’s what I believe. When I think of that it warms my heart so much, I do wish Heaven had a phone line so I could continue to talk to you every Sunday, I do wish you weren’t taken from me so early,  do wish some sibling relationships were different. I do wish that I could call you and tell you what’s going on in my life and you somehow teach me something different every time. I do wish a lot of things but you can’t have it all and I know that. I do wish that people would learn to appreciate the people that they have around them and treat them differently. I highly appreciate all of my friends that I have, you can’t find others like them. I’m so glad I met them and wish to have many more glorious years of friendship with them all. (That would be the best gift ever)

I miss you more as each day passes but I smile because I know your watching over us. I’m doing my best every day to keep my promise that I made you, every day is a struggle but I will soon overcome it all. I know it because I am your tough princess. With every phone call he would always say goodbye saying in Spanish, Always, always, always behave yourself – and if you misbehave be sure to invite me. Don’t worry dad, I will always behave myself and if I misbehave I’ll make sure to invite you, because I know you got your little girls back. As I began to write this I teared but as I finish I am smiling. Until next time xoxo – Britzy

What Am I Thankful For . . .

I was supposed to have written this earlier but it was family time and dinner was at 1pm so no chance. Along with the rest to go black Friday shopping. Any who despite the ups and downs, it’s been great so far. I have a spot in my heart for everyone but only some get to stay there permanently. I feel I have grown a bit more but that’s not for me to decide, it’s better to show action than just speak about it. I put other people’s happiness before mine. I try and follow the golden rule I learned in kindergarten. “Treat others the way you would want to be treated.”

I am thankful for so many things. My sisters first of all, I try and be here for them as much as I possibly can and give them all I have when I have nothing left for me. Basically a second mom to them and I don’t mind the responsibility at all. I have loved and cared for them since I was in high school. Those girls mean the world and more to me and they know it. I can’t wait for my future with them. I’m thankful for my friends that I have. They are beyond the most amazing friends anyone can ever have. You all need friends like mine or at least similar to mine. Yeah they are just that awesome. I enjoy when I spend one on one time with them and even better when we are all together. We’ve lost some and gain some friends, it’s all a part of the circle of life.

I am thankful for my best friend, my mother. Lord knows I love that woman and I miss her all the time as much as I miss my dear father who is always on my mind and in my heart. They both made me who I am today, I learned all of my maternal things from my mother and how to appreciate the smallest things in life and those around you. My dad never raised his voice at me but always talked to me and made me understand what I did wrong and the consequences for my actions. I was spoiled but we didn’t have much, I was most spoiled with the love from them both and I will always be.

I’m thankful for the main things and every little thing in my life from the people in my life to the fact that I’m still here, I can still enjoy many things, still have fun. I am thankful for the friends that I had, have and will have. I am thankful not only on this day but everyday for everything, the good, bad and ugly. How will one ever learn to grow as a person without the obstacles put in your path? I know everything has its reason, you may not know why at the moment or not ever but there is a reason behind everything that happens. Thankful for all the blessings and obstacles that I had, have and will have in the future. Blessings to appreciate even the smallest things to the big things and obstacles to grow as a person each and every day.

I hope you all had a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones. Remember not only to be thankful once a year or when something big happens but every day. I wish you all good luck to those black Friday shopping. Hope you all have a great weekend. Until next time xoxo – britzy

 

Selfishness or Protectiveness . . .

What does when normally do when they get hurt by another? Some usually leave and move on with their lives while others give them another chance. What happens when it becomes a repetitive thing? Being nice, something happens, the one that gets another chance blows up – the other person gets hurt yet again and again. Again some stay others leave. When it gets to that point it’s considered an abuse, in this case verbal and possibly emotional. Your probably thinking if it has continued or if it’s still going on and who this person is. It’s not just a random person or family friend or someone who use to be close to me, it’s my older sibling.

My sister has a habit of making nice with my family, (mom, baby sisters & myself) we get along great, then she takes something we said or did the wrong way and blow it up, says things that aren’t needed. It use to be her and I, sadly it use to get physically. Her and I are 10 years apart, what is she doing fighting her baby sister. It still breaks my heart to know that it had gone that far and I try and block out all the verbal and physical fights. I use to hate it because my baby sisters would witness this, I remember seeing the pain and scared look on their face and in their eyes.

My sister probably thinks that when we make nice it’ll be like it never happened and we are going to be the best of friends. I don’t know what going through her mind but we are always careful with what we say and how we say it (ALL the time). I wasn’t there for a major one that happened. My mom and sisters moved out-of-town to be closer to my older sister so she wouldn’t be lonely since her boyfriend at the time was a trucker. Meaning he would be gone for long periods of time so therefore she would be lonely with her kids. My mom and sister moved in the trailer out back, keep in mind that it’s December (get’s freezing cold out there in Bakersfield). One night my sister blew up at my mom, threw money at her cursing her to leave. No daughter should ever do that to their mother. You only get one set of parents and you don’t treat them like that. My mom eventually found a place but I always told my mom after that, she should not put up with this. As a mother you can’t be mad at your daughter and love her unconditionally so she forgave her, we had a blowing out so when my mom left to mexico they weren’t on speaking terms.

I did the best I could to protect my sisters. As far as logging into their Facebook accounts and blocking her. Now that they are back, she got in contact with my sisters (Alondra 15, Mitzi 13) but is only talking to one (Mitzi). Which obviously hurts the other one. She talking about taking Mitzi when she’s on break from school. I explained to Mitzi that I didn’t want them talking because her and I aren’t but I just don’t want them hurt again. Also that if she does take her, she has to call me and ask me for permission. If she doesn’t, I will take that as kidnapping and call the police. If I find out after it’s happened I personally put a restraining order. I’m not doing this to be mean but to protect them from the pain that I’ve gone through myself with her. Is it selfish or am I doing the right thing by protecting them?

I’m so indecisive on this, I don’t mind that she’s talking to her but she’s hurting the other one in the process. I don’t want them to go through it again in general because it always happens. I honestly think we would need a therapy session so this won’t happen again. I apologize for this post being so long but it is what it is. I hope everyone had a great weekend and enjoying this wonderful fall weather. Have a good one and until next time xoxo – britzy